And she will always carry on. Something is lost, but something is found. They will keep on speaking her name. Some things change, some stay the same... -The Pretenders
Mosh Ben Ari performed in Kikar Rabin the other night...for free. I get home so late from work these days and I'm always so tired...so I kind of just assumed I wouldn't make it. We parked the car at 7:30 and I called YK to see how the crowd was. His performance was scheduled for 9 and if the crowd was unbearable, I wasn't going to bother heading down. She happily told me that she had a table towards the front and that it wasn't crowded at all. I picked up the pace and headed to my apartment to drop off my bag before heading down to the square.
I arrived and made my way through the crowd to find YK and her friend. They really DID have a table sort of near the front and I was suddenly happy I'd hurried.
We sat and chatted and LL showed up. And then Mosh. And his wonderfulness. Nothing will ever beat the very first time I saw him perform but I swear I'll never get tired of it. Each time that I've seen him perform, I've always wondered if he'd play ועוד יום because it's only my most favorite song ever. Besides the fact that if LE and I were to have had a song, that would be it...besides that...it's just a most beautiful melody. And it was one of the first songs I translated. I remember sitting on the floor with YC and playing it over and over again so he could hear each word and help me understand the song.
Anyway, he's never performed it when I've seen him. It's a duet with a woman. And he's never had a woman up there to perform it with. So after singing a few songs on his own...when he announced that Din Din Aviv would be joining him on stage, I kind of had this feeling that I'd finally see him perform my song live. She is adorable and wonderful and I love to watch her perform. She gets really "into" it -- and you can tell she's really part of each word and note she sings. I saw her a few times on TV and she performed at the Yom HaZikaron ceremony last month. He gave her the spotlight and she sang her song מוכרת לי מפעם. I happily sang along and swayed with the crowd.
And then Mosh joined her. And I heard the first few notes of my song. And the tears just came out. I didn't really expect that reaction. I've been doing amazingly well lately -- not really thinking about him but working on myself and doing the things I need to do. The other day, the secretary at my job came over and started telling me this story about how she went to a dance class and the teacher was familiar to her. And she used the feminine form of the word "teacher" so I knew it wasn't him...but as she told her story, I was waiting for her to connect it to him...because otherwise she wouldn't be mentioning the story to me at all. And my heart was racing and I was thinking about how ridiculous it was that I couldn't even hear a story about dancers without panicking a little...or without having my heart hurt a little. The end of the story was that the teacher was on THIS season of the TV show that he was on. And I kind of just smiled...uncomfortable-like. I was really disappointed in my physical reaction to her words. I didn't realize that my heart would jump into my throat like that. But it did.
And so I watched the performance. And I cried. And I'm actually not really sure if I was crying because it's our song...or because it's just so beautiful. Or maybe I'm just dramatic and cry too much. Or maybe it was all of that.
But I stood there...in the middle of thousands of people...and I cried and sang and took it all in. And it was nearly perfect.
And as the performance wound down...he sang familiar songs and new songs...and just hearing his voice all around me made me warm. Well...his voice and the fact that they crammed thousands of dancing Israelis inside a tent in May made me warm. He exited the stage and we cheered for an encore. What it a Mosh Ben Ari concert without "V'eich sh'lo" ??
And out he came...and he sang it. And I joined in with the crowd. And as we all sang together...I looked around and for the first time, I actually felt part of that crowd. I knew all those words...the song reminds me of distant memories...just like all the Israelis in that tent. I smiled and felt proud of myself and kept on singing.
I think it was just what I needed. Just what I needed...to remind me why I'm here. That perhaps I moved to Israel to be with LE...and maybe it's not the best reason to move your life around the world. Especially considering it didn't work out...
But I made aliyah because I love Israel. I love the lemonana and I love Mosh Ben Ari. I love the Tel Aviv beach and the cafe culture. I love cafe hafuch and shnitzel...but not at the same time ;) I love fresh baked challah and the calmness of Shabbat -- even in the heart of the city. I love the park by my apartment and the "arsim" blaring bad trance music from their cars. I love hearing broken Hebrew everywhere and realizing that we're all immigrants and I love the kiosks where you can buy everything from beer to toilet paper to a portable grill. I love the way Israelis jump around with HUGE smiles and call it "dancing." I love the low-waisted jeans and t-shirts with sequins.
I love being here. Despite the hard things. Despite the culture shock. Despite the constant uphill battle.
It's a new blog that chronicles the ridiculousness that is life as an immigrant in Israel. Or life in Israel in general...because sometimes it's ridiculous :)
Feel free to comment. Tell me what you think. If you've got stories of your own, feel free to email them to me and I'd be happy to post them for you.
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You people over there in the US (or wherever you are) don't know what you're missing! Every moment is action packed in this city. You never know who you'll run into or who may dance by when you least expect it.
Here are some classic examples of life in Tel Aviv. I assure you that no one in the surrounding area batted an eyelash.
The first is a normal Friday late afternoon near the market. You know...we all like to twirl our tomatoes around after we're done shopping.
And this one is fantastic. We have really religious Jews here (duh) who drive around in vans and randomly jump out and start dancing. It's hilarious to witness and I'm always quite entertained. This is an extreme example where they're at what's normally a busy intersection in Tel Aviv...spreading love and Torah :)
My friend, Jacob was inspired to make this great video about Israel. The inspiration came from www.WheretheHellisMatt.com who made awesome videos but never made it to Israel.
I love this country. I love the beaches and the lifestyle and the people and the culture...the food, the shopping, the climate, the Judaism...I love being here.
As we circled the city a hundred times looking for parking the other night, I had to take note that I really love the public parking lots here. Usually, the paid lots will let you in even if they know it's full and then create a mess when they instruct you to just block someone else's car.
Even better are the parking lots that have been designed with such care and expertise that when you reach the end of a row and realize it's all full, you have to go in reverse to get out of that lane and back into the center where you have to go through the process again. I mean...how ingenious is it to create parking lots that don't have lanes that flow from one into the next but rather force drivers to reverse down rows!? It's great!!
Yeah...note the sarcasm.
But I really do love this country...for all the reasons in paragraph 1. And I don't yet drive here so the parking is kind of amusing for me.
In spite of this ridiculous-ness that is life in Israel...I still like it here.
What ridiculous-ness?
So I called HOT to ask if I can upgrade from 750 to 1.5 because I realize I need a faster connection. After FIVE tries, I finally get someone who puts me on hold for 10 minutes only to tell me I have to call 012 to arrange it. So I call 012 and talk to this chick who can't give me a straight answer -- she was comparing 49 shekels for just 012 to 65 shekels for 012+HOT. How is that a comparison?
So after 20 minutes on hold...she tells me I have to call HOT.
And I said "I'm giving up. I want to pay more. I want more service. No one wants my money. I don't want to do this anymore."
I told this story to J the other day and he thought it was hysterical. He asked me why I hadn't written about it in my blog because it's such a good example of cultural difference. I'm not sure why I didn't write about it before...maybe because I've been too busy to sit and write a coherent entry...or one that is worth anything. Maybe I just forgot that it happened. Whatever the case...I'm documenting it now.
Last weekend was the Black Eyed Peas concert in Tel Aviv. I bought tickets with LL, HK and TW...and at the last minute, MF came with us too. The stadium was packed and we really had a great time that evening...despite the heat and the long lines in the bathroom...and despite my prevalent feelings of panic over seeing people I didn't need to see. Note that I said "need" not "want."
Anyway, the Black Eyed Peas are a fun American band. I saw them once back in 1998...long before anyone had ever heard of them or cared about them. I was impressed back then too. It was pre-Fergie...just Will, Apl and Taboo. Three dudes. Hip-hop. It wasn't flashy. It wasn't crazy. It was just good. They were good. I was doing PR for the concert pavilion that summer and got free tickets to the show. They were opening for someone...and I can't remember who...but I do remember seeing them and thinking they were good. Their big break came in 2003ish when they roped in a hot girl to sing lead and managed to have Justin Timberlake appear in one of their songs. Good for them. It's every musicians dream to be heard on the radio or to sell out a stadium. Their sound is a bit different now...but it's still fun and entertaining. I'm not sure I would have paid money in the US to go to their show this summer...but I'm in Israel and I just knew it would be a real fun experience.
I think the best part of the evening was realizing where I was. There they were on stage, singing familiar songs in my mother-tongue language. I didn't have to struggle to listen to every single word in hopes of understanding...I was happily oblivious and catching everything. They made a lot of references to old school hip-hop and really good music from the late 80s and early 90s. At one point, Fergie was singing "Sweet Child 'o Mine" with her own lyrics...it was really interesting! At another point, they were throwing in crazy references like "You down with O.P.P.?" and I was going crazy.
"YEAH YOU KNOW ME!"
I realized I was the only one screaming the actual response instead of just screaming in general. They tried again...
"You down with O.P.P.?"
"YEAH YOU KNOW ME!!" I was so excited that I knew what to yell back! The crowd around me kept looking over at me like I was insane. What is this crazy girl screaming to them!?
It went on like this for a few rounds until they realized that there were maybe 5 of us in the crowd of 10s of thousands...there were a handful of us who knew what was going on. So they stopped and educated the crowd.
"When we say 'You down with O.P.P.,' you yell back 'Yeah you know me!' Try it with us!"
And so we did. And it was hysterical. And I thought about being in middle school again. And I felt connected to myself. And I realized that I was one of the lucky few in the crowd to be able to appreciate it that way. I might have been one of the few who even knows what "O.P.P." stands for! Sometimes I wish I could blend in more and not be told I "look so American" or "really look like a tourist." So what if I don't wear my jeans so low that my butt hangs out the back?
But sometimes it's really really wonderful to be surrounded by thousands and thousands of people who don't get the inside joke. And it makes me feel that much more connected to myself.
No matter how long I'll be here...and no matter how much I say I didn't fit in or didn't really love my life in America...no matter how much time passes, I'll be American. And I'll get those inside jokes.
And I AM down with O.P.P, dammit! And it makes me smile! And I remember being in BBYO and re-writing the words for one of our weekend conventions. *sigh* If only I knew then that 15 years later, I'd be screaming at the top of my lungs at a concert in Tel Aviv...
Wow. I never would have believed anyone if they'd told me that 15 years ago...
I've been slack lately. Maybe not slack...as I've been sick and traveling and moving...but I certainly haven't written much in here in a while. My apologies to myself since I should be journaling...and my apologies to anyone who ever checks this page for updates.
So I'll start this entry with an email I just received from someone I worked with a few years ago. I'd sent her a link to all my pictures from Israel and from the road trip and she wrote back this morning:
S,
I just got through looking at the pictures.
First of all the pictures from Israel are AMAZING. J looked at them as well and was WOWED by them also. I cannot believe that you got to go so many places and do so many things. The pictures just turned out fabulous that you took. By the way, who are all of these handsome men in your pictures??
I got a big kick out of SS's website. The way he writes about your travels is hilarious. I still think the funniest thing was the having a bar b que verses eating bar b que. That cracks me up to no end. Probably because it makes perfect sense to me and seemed odd to him.
It was great "IMing" you the other evening and catching up. I am so glad that you are doing well and I will have to say that it seems like you have had the summer of your life. You deserve it.
Be well, take care and keep in touch.
Love, B
So yeah...I guess I had the summer of my life. It's weird to think about because I can't believe how quickly six weeks can pass. I flew out here and found an apartment, visited friends and go acquainted with my soon-to-be home. A few days later, I flew to Israel with 87 high school kids and 3 other madrichim (counselors). The three weeks we spent there flew by so quickly...it even feels like a blur to me. And as soon as I got home, I hopped in my car and drove across the country with one of my newer friends and had one of those "once in a lifetime" experiences. Actually, maybe the whole summer was "once in a lifetime."
As much as I complained when I was in Israel...the itinerary was all fucked up, the kids were complaining, I wasn't getting enough sleep, I wanted to break away and see my friends...it amazes me how I can clump it all together and say that it was a fabulous experience. I was so worried that the kids would come away with bad memories and that they'd just have negative thoughts about me since I had such a hard time bonding with some of them...but they've been circulating group emails and their attitudes are nostalgic. They've erased all the tension and their love for Israel prevails.
Today's email included the phrase "Israel is..." and some of them filled in the blanks. Some of their answers sent chills down my spine...they were so reflective of what I feel about Israel...and these are high school kids!
Israel is...
...a home whose door is always wide open and you can smell the warmth and comfort inside -BN
...one of the best experiences of my life, and something I will never forget -RF
...a key to the past and a beacon of things to come - ZB
...apparently a great way to start a cheesy saying but most importantly, it is where the heart is - MD
...the most amazing place where you can find everything you could ever want within a 7 hour drive from top to bottom - AC
...my second home where I can go whenever and be welcome no questions asked; it's a beautiful and amazing place to experience - JI
...the most amazing place I have ever been. It is a land of true beauty and spirituality. Israel is my "home," and I can't wait to return. - AW
...a place I felt safe, a place so beautiful you have to visit to believe - ES
...a gift from G-d, the heart and soul of the Jewish people - DM
...my Jewish country filled with indescribable feelings and connections. It's the place where miracles happen. - FS
...a place where you feel like you've been there your entire life- even if you can only visit for a few short weeks. - JR
...a place you don't have to explain yourself or who you are. It's one big family. - SP
...the history of our ancestors, the present condition of all Jews, and the future for our children. - MC
It made my heart feel good to read it. As much as they fought us...and as much as they stressed us out...maybe they "got it." They got that spark in their hearts and they got it when they're really young. The potential for greatness is apparent...and hopefully they won't forget. That's all I can hope for.
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